Bereavement Counselling Course

The course focuses on the following key elements of bereavement

• How one develops one’s attitudes about death, loss and grief
• Self-awareness in relation to grief
• The range and complexity of emotional reactions to loss
• Societal and community expectations in relation to the grieving family
• Physical reactions to grief
• Stages of grief and various grief models
• Anticipatory griefSudden loss
• Supporting the dying person and their loved ones
• Unresolved grief and complex grief
• Cultural diversity in relation to loss
• Childhood developmental stages in relation to grief and supporting the bereaved child;
• Supporting the adolescent through grief
• Guidelines for counselling and an overview of useful theoretical models
• The importance of rituals in grieving.

Format

• Webinar-style presentations on theory;
• Electronic Training Manual;
• Zoom sessions – group and break-away groups for role-plays and small group discussions;
• Pre-recorded segments;
• Individual and group work;
• Dedicated time for questions and answers.

Supporting a friend or loved one

The loss of a loved one is devastating and something we would never wish on our friends or loved one’s. However, by virtue of being human loss and grief are unavoidable and very much part of life, so the experience of grieving is something we will all deal with at some point in our lives. This commonality may provide us with a sense that we automatically understand one another’s grief when it happens, however in reality each grief experience is unique to each individual. These differences are due to a multitude of factors including one’s cultural and religious beliefs, individual factors such as upbringing, family dynamics and relationships, perceptions and beliefs about death, the complexity of the relationship between the people involved, and the nature and expectancy of the death, to name a few.

Irrespective of the varied number of circumstances that separate each loss experience, there are some essential things to know that may help you support someone who is grieving.

Each person grieves at their own pace

There’s no designated time frame for how quickly or slowly people move through the process. Expecting the person to be “over it” because a certain amount of time has passed is not only unhelpful but judgemental and unrealistic. Grieving people need unconditional support and time to process their emotions. It is important to let them know that you are there for them in the months and sometimes years to come, as anniversaries of special events come and go, including the anniversary of their loved one’s passing. Don’t use anyone else’s experience as a benchmark for how someone else should be feeling at any particular point in time.

Sometimes you may feel at a loss for words or not know what to do for your friend. The truth is loss is hard for the bereft and for those who are trying to support them. Quite often all that is required is to simply be there: sit with them, hug them, make the coffee, do the load of washing, take a gentle walk, send a message on hard days and be available when they reach out. The simple, down to earth, solid connections of friendship are the nuggets of gold, not finding wise and brilliant things to say because there are no pearls that remove the stings of grief. The best that you can do is be genuine and loving.

the bereavement process is unique to you

Your bereavement process will be unique to you, even if there are similarities between yours and a friend’s situations. It is imperative to separate your own grief from your friend’s, to not compare or draw similarities in order to pair/twin experiences. Not only will this prove unsupportive but it make it will make the interaction more about your own issues and less about helping your friend.

Saying things like “I know how you feel,” “everything happens for a reason,” “he/she is in a better place” does not help the person. In fact, these cliched statements undermine their experience of their loss. Even if you have experienced the same or similar loss, you still will not know how they are emotionally and mentally dealing with as their relationship with the person who has died is unique and filled with its own dynamics. Sharing that your experience was similar in nature but that you cannot know what’s happening for them is honest and honours their process. It allows them to experience their grief without feeling as though theirs is a clone of yours.

Listen and listen and listen: this is the essence of true support. You are not expected to be a therapist to your friend, but listening and validating their feelings are extremely important parts of offering the support they need. If you feel that your friend is needing more professional support than you can offer, or if you feel overwhelmed and concerned that they may be slipping into a depression, please do refer them or suggest that they contact a professional therapist.
The journey of grieving is harsh and changes people and relationships. Walking the journey alongside your friend in a gentle, genuine, loving and non-judgemental way provides the invaluable cloak of warmth and love that they will need on that cold and harsh road. Never underestimate the power of kindness and love, even and sometimes especially in its most simplistic form.