WHAT IS AUTOGENIC TRAINING?

Autogenic Training (AT) is a unique evidence-based combination of self-hypnosis, meditation, mindfulness, relaxation therapy and biofeedback training.

Professor Johannes Schultz who was a German Neuroscientist and Psychoanalyst first developed it in the 1920s, and it was enriched over the decades by Prof Schultz and Dr Luthe.

Over three thousand clinical studies have shown that AT has a significant therapeutic impact in aiding in the treatment of a number of illnesses, as well as psychological and emotional issues, managing stress, promoting general well-being and enhancing performance. Its practice has proved to increase resilience, effective decision making, problem-solving and facilitate creative thinking.

AT is a profound method of relaxation as well as a form of psycho-physiological self-therapy used to bring about healing and restoration for a multitude of conditions such as assisting in the release of acute and chronic stress and trauma, as well as general cognitive and emotional functioning.

Performing AT takes approximately 10 – 15 minutes, and can be practised at any time of day by following a specific set of simple mental exercises. The process creates physiological reactions in the brain and body which allows for the manifestation of optimal health and well-being on all levels. It also provides a gateway to deeper meditative states, if so desired.

AT teaches one how to consciously and purposefully direct the Autonomic Nervous System, which normally functions without conscious control. By consciously and intensely regulating the nervous system, the body’s stress response is reduced and one’s natural reparation mechanism is activated. This brings about a deep regulation of the entire body-mind system, thereby influencing one’s levels of anxiety and mood. Working directly with vital parts of the physiology to impact the body-mind system, the functioning of one’s heart (cardio-vascular), lungs (respiratory), stomach, gut and bowels (gastrointestinal and excretory system), kidneys and liver as well one’s brain, muscles, biochemical responses and immune system can be brought into balance.

Significant findings have indicated blood pressure regulation, reduction in sleep difficulties, increased pain management, trauma release, and alleviation of depression and anxiety to name but a few benefits. Once the method has been learnt, it requires just a few minutes a day to relieve stress, decrease anxiety and stabilise one’s mind and body.

Learning AT involves learning 6 simple progressive exercises over a 6-week period. Each session is 1 hour and requires members to practise the exercises daily in between the sessions.
As emotional and physical “baggage” is released during the regulation process, it is advised that participants have individual sessions to process the release in between sessions.

Research cited by the Australian Autogenic Training Institute: 

• AT (AT) leads to self-induced calmness in mind and body and can lead to clearer thinking about problems and new insights. Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice (2009), 82, 403-419. Yurdakul, Hottum and Bowden
• AT induces the Relaxation Response. Behavioral Medicine, Volume15, pages 125-132, 1989.
• Emotional distress signs and anxiety decrease whilst your brain’s ability to calm responses to stress improves, bringing positive and stable changes in anxious and ‘blue’ personality traits and increased resilience. Stress Medicine, Volume 16, pages 263-268, 2002.
• Relaxation can be an appropriate and relevant therapeutic tool to counteract several stress-related disease processes and certain health-restrictions, particularly in certain immunological, cardiovascular, and neurodegenerative diseases/mental disorders. Medical Science Monitor, Volume 9, pages RA23-34, February 2003.
• Tension headache and mixed-type headache frequencies are reduced in the first month of learning AT, while migraine headache frequency reduces after 3 months and drug consumption also reduces. Headache: The Journal of Head and Face Pain, Volume 43, page 251, March 2003.
• Acute pain of migraine headaches decreases and the likelihood that a migraine aura will become a full blown migraine is much lower when sufferers practice AT. Headache: The Journal of Head and Face Pain, Volume 47, pages 371- 383, March 2007.
• Irritable bowel calms down and most symptoms are significantly reduced. Behaviour Research and Therapy, Volume 5, pages 541-546, May 2002.
• Anxiety can negatively influence the course of many disabilities so the benefits accrued from practising a stress management method may have generalized effects. Archives of Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation, Volume 67, pages 375- 379, June 1986.
• Children and adolescents with behavioural and emotional problems have improvements in goal attainment after learning AT. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, Volume 42, page 1046-1054, 2003.
• Blood pressure and heart rate reduce when people practice AT. Perceptual and Motor Skills, Volume 83, pages 1395-141, December 1996.
• Anxiety for university level students are significantly reduced with consistent AT practice. Journal of Advanced Nursing, Volume 53, pages 729-735, 2006.
• Elderly nursing home patients have a better quality of life once they practice AT. Zeitschrift für Gerontologie und Geriatrie, Volume 35, pages 157-65, 2002.
• Adolescent alcoholics discover they have more control over their own behaviour than they previously thought after they learn AT with biofeedback. Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment, Volume14, pages 55-61, Jan-Feb 1997.
• Learning and practicing AT can increase your ability to recall your dreams! Perceptual and Motor Skills, Volume 84, pages 1305-1307, June 1997.
• Exhausted care givers find that subjective psychosomatic symptoms, such as headache, palpitation, dizziness, sleep disorders, irritation, are reduced or disappear, and they are able to ask for help for themselves much more easily after practising AT. Japanese Journal of Autogenic Therapy, Volume 18, pages 56-63, August 2000.
• Preliminary Report on the Use of Autogenic Feedback Training in the Treatment of Migraine and Tension Headaches Joseph D. Sargent, MD, Elmer E. Green, Phd and E. Dale Walters, MA, 1973

Unpacking spousal maintenance

Spouses owe each other a duty of support and this may continue after divorce. It can be defined in one of two ways: Ongoing Spousal Maintenance or Rehabilitative Spousal Maintenance.

Rehabilitative Spousal Maintenance

This is for a short period of time (typically around 6 months) to enable the spouse in need to find employment.

Ongoing Spousal Maintenance

This is maintenance until the spouse’s (the one who needs the financial support) death, remarriage or cohabitation.  The award of this type of spousal maintenance depends on a number of factors:

• Spouse’s age
• Duration of marriage
• Employment prospects (skills)
• Ability to work (health)
• Any other relevant factor

What does the award of spousal maintenance again depend on?

NEED vs ABILITY TO PAY

Need is determined by looking at the expenses of the spouse in need, taking into account any income.  There is only a “need” if the spouse is unable to cover his/her own expenses in their entirety.

The ability to pay is calculated by determining if the other spouse has the financial ability to assist, and to what extent.

Co-holders of parental responsibilities and rights

The Act defines “parental responsibilities and rights” as being either “full” or “specific”. Parental responsibilities and rights include

• the care of the child,
• contact with the child,
• being a guardian of the child, and
• the paying of maintenance.

A parent may hold all these rights and responsibilities or some of them. The Children’s Act promotes joint parenting.

Care

This right belongs to both parents (married and in some instances, unmarried).Care relates to:

• where the children reside – defined as either “primary” if they stay for most of the time with one parent, or “shared” if they reside equally with both parents; and to
• joint decision-making regarding the children, e.g.: education, medical and dental, religion, emotional and psychological wellbeing and association (who the child spends time with).

GUARDIANSHIP

Both married parents, and unmarried parents (in certain circumstances) are joint guardians and this continues after divorce or separation. It is only in exceptional circumstances that a court will remove a parent’s guardianship.

As guardians, parents sign indemnities and other documents on behalf of their children.

There are, however, circumstances where both guardians need to asset a minor child:

• Application for a passport
• Consent to marry while still a minor
• The adoption of the child
• The removal of the child from South Africa by either parent or by a third party
• The purchase or sale of immovable property (land)

CONTACT

This issue should be dealt with on a case by case basis, always taking into account the child’s views and wishes, as well as the child’s sporting, social, scholastic and religious commitments.

Contact is the child’s right!

Maintenance of children

The financial support of children is the legal and moral duty of both parents, regardless of whether or not they were ever married. Such a duty of support is based on the following:

• A relationship between the child and the parent
• The need of the child to receive financial support
• The ability of the parent to pay
• The best interests of the child

What is Maintenance For?

Every child has the right to reasonable maintenance to provide:

• housing
• clothing
• medical, dental and health care
• education
• food

How long do you have to pay maintenance?

This duty of support usually ends when the child becomes self-supporting which may or may not be at the time when the child reaches 18. For as long as the child needs financial support, the parent is obliged to pay maintenance.

Two principles of maintenance

#1: Pro-Rata

The parties are to contribute to the expenses of their children according to their means. For example, if mom earns R5,000 and dad earns R10,000 then the total combined income is R15,000. Therefore, Mom earns 33% of the combined income (5000/15000*100 = 33%) and dad 67%.

#2: Need vs. Ability to Pay

If the child’s expenses are R3000, then based on the example above, the mom is to pay 33% of R3000, which is R1000. Dad is to pay 67% which is R2000.

The question is then asked whether mom and dad can afford their pro-rata share once their own reasonable expenses have been paid. If not, cuts have to be made to the budget for all the parties to try and make it fit.

This financial aspect should be revisited on an annual basis to ensure that the pro-rata share is fair and that both parties are able to pay their contribution.

Bereavement Counselling Course

The course focuses on the following key elements of bereavement

• How one develops one’s attitudes about death, loss and grief
• Self-awareness in relation to grief
• The range and complexity of emotional reactions to loss
• Societal and community expectations in relation to the grieving family
• Physical reactions to grief
• Stages of grief and various grief models
• Anticipatory griefSudden loss
• Supporting the dying person and their loved ones
• Unresolved grief and complex grief
• Cultural diversity in relation to loss
• Childhood developmental stages in relation to grief and supporting the bereaved child;
• Supporting the adolescent through grief
• Guidelines for counselling and an overview of useful theoretical models
• The importance of rituals in grieving.

Format

• Webinar-style presentations on theory;
• Electronic Training Manual;
• Zoom sessions – group and break-away groups for role-plays and small group discussions;
• Pre-recorded segments;
• Individual and group work;
• Dedicated time for questions and answers.

Supporting a friend or loved one

The loss of a loved one is devastating and something we would never wish on our friends or loved one’s. However, by virtue of being human loss and grief are unavoidable and very much part of life, so the experience of grieving is something we will all deal with at some point in our lives. This commonality may provide us with a sense that we automatically understand one another’s grief when it happens, however in reality each grief experience is unique to each individual. These differences are due to a multitude of factors including one’s cultural and religious beliefs, individual factors such as upbringing, family dynamics and relationships, perceptions and beliefs about death, the complexity of the relationship between the people involved, and the nature and expectancy of the death, to name a few.

Irrespective of the varied number of circumstances that separate each loss experience, there are some essential things to know that may help you support someone who is grieving.

Each person grieves at their own pace

There’s no designated time frame for how quickly or slowly people move through the process. Expecting the person to be “over it” because a certain amount of time has passed is not only unhelpful but judgemental and unrealistic. Grieving people need unconditional support and time to process their emotions. It is important to let them know that you are there for them in the months and sometimes years to come, as anniversaries of special events come and go, including the anniversary of their loved one’s passing. Don’t use anyone else’s experience as a benchmark for how someone else should be feeling at any particular point in time.

Sometimes you may feel at a loss for words or not know what to do for your friend. The truth is loss is hard for the bereft and for those who are trying to support them. Quite often all that is required is to simply be there: sit with them, hug them, make the coffee, do the load of washing, take a gentle walk, send a message on hard days and be available when they reach out. The simple, down to earth, solid connections of friendship are the nuggets of gold, not finding wise and brilliant things to say because there are no pearls that remove the stings of grief. The best that you can do is be genuine and loving.

the bereavement process is unique to you

Your bereavement process will be unique to you, even if there are similarities between yours and a friend’s situations. It is imperative to separate your own grief from your friend’s, to not compare or draw similarities in order to pair/twin experiences. Not only will this prove unsupportive but it make it will make the interaction more about your own issues and less about helping your friend.

Saying things like “I know how you feel,” “everything happens for a reason,” “he/she is in a better place” does not help the person. In fact, these cliched statements undermine their experience of their loss. Even if you have experienced the same or similar loss, you still will not know how they are emotionally and mentally dealing with as their relationship with the person who has died is unique and filled with its own dynamics. Sharing that your experience was similar in nature but that you cannot know what’s happening for them is honest and honours their process. It allows them to experience their grief without feeling as though theirs is a clone of yours.

Listen and listen and listen: this is the essence of true support. You are not expected to be a therapist to your friend, but listening and validating their feelings are extremely important parts of offering the support they need. If you feel that your friend is needing more professional support than you can offer, or if you feel overwhelmed and concerned that they may be slipping into a depression, please do refer them or suggest that they contact a professional therapist.
The journey of grieving is harsh and changes people and relationships. Walking the journey alongside your friend in a gentle, genuine, loving and non-judgemental way provides the invaluable cloak of warmth and love that they will need on that cold and harsh road. Never underestimate the power of kindness and love, even and sometimes especially in its most simplistic form.

Five Stages of Grief

Grief is something that most people experience throughout their lives in one form or another. A varied range of contexts and situations manifest loss experiences including the death of a loved one, divorce or end of a relationship, the death of a pet, immigration, amongst many other kinds of loss.

Counsellors, therefore, need skills and knowledge in grief counselling as clients will inevitably present with issues related to grief and loss. The aim is to help clients process grief, both current grief issues and unresolved historical losses that may still be impacting their lives in some way. Counselling clients effectively includes helping them to understand and manage the wide range of emotions they may experience, and to support them in finding ways to live with the loss(es).

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ popular “Five Stages of Grief” model pioneered a new understanding of death, near-death experiences and the needs of the dying person and their loved ones. It provided a workable baseline for grief work and her teachings still remain one of the most useable and powerful approaches to loss and bereavement. Since then, many other models and theories have emerged that build on Kubler-Ross’ primary theory. Upskilling in these theories is a necessary undertaking if counsellors wish to integrate grief work into their practice, and in fact, is our responsibility: we cannot escape the fact that loss is embedded in the very nature of our work as counsellors.

UNBOXING THE STAGES

All the models discuss the normality and necessary presence of the following grief symptoms:

• Shock and disbelief, feeling numb, even denial that the loss occurred
• Sadness, despair, loneliness, feeling empty
• Guilt, regret, shame
• Anger, feeling resentful
• Anxiety, helplessness, insecurity, fear
• Physical symptoms like fatigue, nausea, sickness, weight loss or gain, aches and pains, night sweats, heart palpitations, feeling faint or lightheaded, insomnia (Therapy Tribe, n.d.)

Complicated or complex grief occurs when these symptoms do not abate and recur with a level of intensity and frequency that interferes with the individual’s regular daily life. In this case, grief therapy becomes important. Grief therapy will help the client process the historically painful and traumatic issues that have been resurfaced as a result of the current loss experience. This is done while supporting them through their present-day grief.

In as much as developing greater skills and knowledge is part of our responsibility as therapists and counsellors, so is dealing with our own grief and losses. When we sit eyeball to eyeball with our bereft clients and hold space for them to process their pain, our own unresolved “stuff” is often triggered. If we haven’t done the necessary work with our own conscious and/or unconscious issues, we will not be able to effectively hold our clients’ pain. For many months after the death of both my parents, I purposefully chose not to see clients who presented with bereavement issues as my loss was too raw. Self-awareness is a critical aspect of being a therapist, and we need to have the courage to work with our own pain, and do the work to upskill in these areas in order to separate ourselves from our clients pain while providing the holding space for their healing.